The Rolling Tide of Overwhelm

Time is often a frustrating element of life: it moves too fast; it moves too slow. “The days are long, but the years go fast.” But Time also offers us the opportunity in its measuring of our lives. Many people bemoan Mondays, but Monday also affords a fresh start. An actor friend called Mondays “a blessed day”, and I’ve grown to agree.

A new day.
A new week.
A new month.
A new year.
Each a shiny, sparkly opportunity to hit refresh.

As I ruminated on the turning of the clock late last night to mark the closing of one year and the grand entrance of the next, I mostly felt overwhelmed.

2021 pushed us into Transition.
We moved out of our home temporarily to really focus in on our too-drawn-out house renovation (begun because of a drunk driver crashing into our house December 2017). It was eight months of down-sized living across the street and watching the slow process of progress from the window.

We are now back in our home–we didn’t make it for Thanksgiving as hoped, but we were in before Christmas–however the projects seem never ending. Each time a room feels finished and is cleaned up, something else arises to make a fresh mess.
Renovation causes necessary chaos, but chaos nonetheless.

Yesterday the mess was simply too much and I oscillated from trying to clean up and clean out areas where I could and hiding out in a cleaner space killing time in distraction.
Today, thanks to my husband’s late night efforts, calm has displaced the chaos–at least for the morning.

Executive Artistic Director,
Flatwater Shakespeare Company, 2018-2021

In the late spring, the thought that it may be time to move to the next chapter of my work life began to percolate. When we returned to producing live theatre in the summer, it solidified. The nature of the work is simply not sustainable in my Life with Larkin. So the transition out of my Executive Artistic Director role began and is now in its final steps. It took longer than I thought it would, but I was also committed to not leaving the company in a lurch as they sought new leadership.

I’ve taken steps toward free lance grant writing and copy writing. Also slowly.

There are many other changes which we’ve traversed, are currently in the midst of, and know are yet to come.
Overwhelm rolls in like the tide and sometimes I am swept up with it.
We know where we’ve been.
We are uncertain of where we are going.

At midnight last night, I kissed my husband, wished him a happy new year, and said, “Wherever God takes us.”

“Wherever God takes us,” he agreed.

May your new year be blessed.
May you learn to ride the waves.
Whether the path is clear or cast in shadow, may 2022 be a great adventure!

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