Choose Through

Finding Nemo–Pixar 2003

This week I had to have a hard conversation.
Addressing issues that came up/built up over a period of time that needed resolution.

I was absolutely dreading it.
But I also know from experience, the answer is nearly always THROUGH not Over.

If it had been with a person I never had to see again or had no interest in continuing a relationship, I probably would have skipped it. Why go through the trench when you don’t want to journey with that person in the first place?

But that wasn’t the case. This is a person I’d worked with in positive ways and had growing respect for. The dents put in trust would likely be able to be ironed out if we journeyed THROUGH.

And it was hard.

I know there are people in this world who revel in confrontation, but I am not remotely one of them. I will address problems. I will have the conversation and lay out expectations, but ain’t none of it fun for me.


On the other side of the trench is resolution and reinforcement and forgiveness and fresh air.
We breathe easier on the other side.
We are restored on the other side.
I’m grateful I went through the Hard.

There are times when we shouldn’t have the hard conversation.
If the other person is dug in, with their fingers buried in their ears and blaring “LA LA LA LA!” this is a conversation not worth your time or effort and will leave you even more frustrated than you began.

But I would argue that MOST of the time, the answer is Through.
Maybe there won’t be resolution.
Maybe the other person will send you packing with a small vocabulary of choice words.
But you have done what you were able.

Forgiveness is more about internal healing than external healing.

So, when you come to the trench.
It looks dark and scary, but choosing to skip over instead will leave you stung.

Nemo and Dori–over the trench
Pixar 2003

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s